Stoned Sober

You are spilling stuff and you’re not even drunk or stoned. You are stoned sober.

—JMS

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Can’t argue with that….

“Ralph, I am so proud of the father you were and the grandfather you have become.”

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Funny anecdote

We were at BJ’s last night having a few biers with friends. The local Catholic priest, who shall remain nameless, was eating a pizza at the bar. I thought the pizza looked delicious from where I was sitting. I asked the bartender to order me what the priest was having.

That pizza was amazing! Maybe the best pizza ever. Upon the completion of our meal I decided to go talk to the Father…..

That’s when Janet stopped me dead in my tracks, saying: “Don’t do it, honey. Let him go in peace.”

🙂

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In reference to In vitro…

His click is tocking. 🙂

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Oh that Juanita.

That is not happening unless you want me to go out on a wild limb.

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Another Janet-ism

Life’s too short to milk it. —J.M.S.

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Afterlife

What happens in the afterlife stays in the afterlife. And I am going to go with the flow in the afterlife. –J.M.S.

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I would much rather…

… be cold and skinny than fat and warm. –JMS

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Never saw us coming…

“They never saw us coming but they are gonna see us coming now!”
–J.M.S.

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And I almost forgot this one…

That was the one thing I forgot to remember. —J.M.S.

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Another good one…

The clock is going to be running around the clock. —J.M.S.

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Janet is wise between her ears…

“I don’t poop every day unless I take that shit.”

and

“I really don’t do want to go inside.”

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Janetism for today

Well that’s not gonna help us if she’s not there to help us.

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It’s been awhile…

Another Janetism, or two:

“It just doesn’t make any sense if that makes sense.”

Oh really? And another thing:

“That’s the problem: the cups you’re drinking throw everything off.”

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Was hast du gesagt?

Not bad is not very good.

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Another keeper

“That person made me so mad I wanted to give them a mouthful.” –J.M.S.
Mouthful

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You live around the neck of our woods…

I found this gem today, written on the back of a business card in my wallet.

I just know it must have come from the lips of my sweet Juanita.

I also knew I had to share it.

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