Second heaven

Janet while cutting up a nice canteloupe: “Eva would be in second heaven right now.”

Ralph: “You mean first heaven? I don’t think it’s second heaven but I could be wrong.”

Janet after 30 minutes: “I just figured it out. Would you like to know?”

Ralph: “Yes, please.”

Janet: “Seventh heaven!”


Edgar Winter/Alice Cooper/Deep Purple

On the eve of the show we get another great Janetism:


I don’t throw money to the wind.


Stoned Sober

You are spilling stuff and you’re not even drunk or stoned. You are stoned sober.



Can’t argue with that….

“Ralph, I am so proud of the father you were and the grandfather you have become.”


Funny anecdote

We were at BJ’s last night having a few biers with friends. The local Catholic priest, who shall remain nameless, was eating a pizza at the bar. I thought the pizza looked delicious from where I was sitting. I asked the bartender to order me what the priest was having.

That pizza was amazing! Maybe the best pizza ever. Upon the completion of our meal I decided to go talk to the Father…..

That’s when Janet stopped me dead in my tracks, saying: “Don’t do it, honey. Let him go in peace.”



In reference to In vitro…

His click is tocking. 🙂


Oh that Juanita.

That is not happening unless you want me to go out on a wild limb.


Another Janet-ism

Life’s too short to milk it. —J.M.S.



What happens in the afterlife stays in the afterlife. And I am going to go with the flow in the afterlife. –J.M.S.


I would much rather…

… be cold and skinny than fat and warm. –JMS


Never saw us coming…

“They never saw us coming but they are gonna see us coming now!”


And I almost forgot this one…

That was the one thing I forgot to remember. —J.M.S.


Another good one…

The clock is going to be running around the clock. —J.M.S.


Janet is wise between her ears…

“I don’t poop every day unless I take that shit.”


“I really don’t do want to go inside.”


Janetism for today

Well that’s not gonna help us if she’s not there to help us.


It’s been awhile…

Another Janetism, or two:

“It just doesn’t make any sense if that makes sense.”

Oh really? And another thing:

“That’s the problem: the cups you’re drinking throw everything off.”


Was hast du gesagt?

Not bad is not very good.


Another keeper

“That person made me so mad I wanted to give them a mouthful.” –J.M.S.


You live around the neck of our woods…

I found this gem today, written on the back of a business card in my wallet.

I just know it must have come from the lips of my sweet Juanita.

I also knew I had to share it.